We Have to Do Better: A Call to Higher Ground in Our Online Conversations

A friend of mine recently engaged with a popular Christian and conservative commentator. She respectfully disagreed. The response she received? She was called stupid.

My friend is not stupid. She and I may not see things the same way, but she is someone I deeply respect and have for years. She is thoughtful, intelligent, funny, kind and faithful. And yet, she dared to voice a different perspective, expressing the need for empathy, and she was dismissed with a single, demeaning word-by someone who claims to follow Jesus.

I have followed this particular commentator for years, and I do believe she loves Jesus. However, there is just simply no excuse. The only thing I could do was tell my friend how sorry I was.

The Luxury We Don't Have

I know you may not want to hear this right now, especially with so much tension everyone is experiencing right now, but we are not afforded the same luxury as everyone else when it comes to our words. The world can lash out, name-call, and belittle. But we are called to something different. Something higher.

Jesus was unequivocal: "You are the salt of the earth....you are the light of the world" (Mattherw 5:13-14). Salt preserves. Light reveals. Neither operate by blending into darkness or decay. We are meant to stand apart-not in self-righteousness (which personally, if you want me to be honest, really makes me angry), but in self-control.

We must be solid on the truth. We must share the gospel boldly. And yes, we must be willing to take the arrows that come our way when we do. But we cannot become the very thing we are called to confront.

I Get It

Believe me, I understand the temptation.

It isn't fair that we always have to take the high road. It isn't easy to stay silent and have a stiff-upper lip when the anger rises up inside you. I've felt it-that white-hot frustration when people I thought were friends have called me a racist, a Nazi, a fascist, simply because of who I voted for. I've watched the accusations roll in from people who never bothered to ask me a single question about what I actually believe and why.

Here is what I won't do though: I won't slide into someone's DMs to call the names. Not when I'm angry. Not when I'm frustrated. Not when I cannot understand their logic. Because that is not who I am called to be.

James warns us that "the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness...With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God" (James 3:6,9). The same keyboard that types "Praise the Lord" should not type "You're an idiot." The dissonance should be unthinkable.

Grace for the Journey

I am not writing this from a place of perfection. I am human. I have made mistakes. I've posted opinions when I probably should have kept my mouth shut. This is hard for me, by the way. I am a very opinionated person. And I have a big mouth. Lord help me! I've let frustration seep into my words when gentleness should have led.

In those moments, we ask for grace. We seek forgiveness. We do better next time.

Scripture reminds us: "Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person" (Colossians 4:6). Gracious speech doesn't mean weak speech. It doesn't mean we abandon our convictions or truth. It means we deliver them in a way that honors the One whose name we carry.

The Standard We're Held To

There is no excuse for a Christian calling another person stupid, worthless, or any other demeaning name in online discourse. We can come up with a myriad of reasons and justifications. We can point to what "they" did first. But at the end of the day, we answer to a different standard.

"But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, 'You fool!' will be liable to the hell of fire" (Matthew 5:22).

Those are Jesus' words. Not mine. And they should give us pause before we hit "post."

We Can Do This

You can stand in your convictions without tearing someone else down. You can disagree passionately without dehumanizing. You can be unshakeable in your faith and still extend dignity to those who see things differently.

"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger" (Proverbs 15:1). We don't fight fire with fire. We fight it with the living water that flows through us.

So the next time your fingers hover over the keyboard, ready to type something cutting, ask yourself (and I will ask myself): Does this reflect Christ? Does this draw someone closer to the gospel or push them further away?

We have to do better.

I have to do better.

Not because we are perfect. But because we serve a God who is. And His reputation is on the line every time we open our mouths-or type on our screens.

Live boldly. Speak truthfully. Stand firm.

And do it all with grace.